How to Heal from Trauma
Common Graces for the Road to Recovery
I’m no stranger to trauma, so when something traumatic newly occurs, I dig out my old playbook. Because I’ve been there before.
Several years ago, I came home from a weeklong stint in the hospital that required a somewhat lengthy recovery. So, I thought I would share with you some of the practices that can help anyone on the path to healing after experiencing some sort of trauma.
But first, let me say, I recognize that trauma is unique to each person.
Some experts delineate between trauma with a big “T” and trauma with a little “t.” Big “T” trauma can include war, life-altering accident, life-threatening illness/surgery, sexual assault, death of a loved one, divorce, abuse, and more. Little “t” trauma can include bullying, loss of a job, moving to a new city, and more.
So, as I share some ways that we can move through trauma toward healing, I know there are no easy fixes.
My brother was 19 when a car accident paralyzed him and put him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Not everyone gets a happy ending in this lifetime. I know this too well. The only real happy ending we can hold onto is the fact that, one day, God will restore all things when he creates a new heaven and a new earth. This includes new bodies! (Philippians 3:20-21, 1 Corinthians 15:35-49, 2 Corinthians 5:1-7)
In the meantime, God has given us some common graces that can help us as we navigate the darkness here and now.
1. Process the experience — with God and others.
The American Psychological Association defines trauma as “an emotional response to a terrible event,” and in most cases of trauma, a person experiences a sense of helplessness. Circumstances happened that were beyond their control.
The first step toward healing is to name the pain. To acknowledge what happened and the myriad ways it impacted you and those around you.
To process the experience, I’m a big advocate of writing it down. The simple act of writing down what happened and talking to God about it is immensely helpful.
Then surround yourself with supportive friends. Resist the temptation to isolate yourself or think that no one can possibly understand what you are going through. Give people a chance to listen and help you process.
Also consider connecting with a licensed counselor or a pastor. Again, the act of talking about what happened is a big part of moving along the path toward healing.
Trauma should not become a person’s identity, but it does become a part of a person’s story.
2. Prepare for the long road to recovery.
Healing takes time. And healing isn’t always linear. Some days we’ll feel strong and on point. Other days we’ll feel weary from the simplest tasks. It’s all part of the healing process.
Listen to your body. Rest a lot. And be prepared to go slow. Recovery is a process.
3. Become an expert on your experience.
Knowledge is power, and since trauma usually involves a sense of helplessness at some point, the more we can equip ourselves with knowledge, the less helpless we’ll feel.
This also allows us to see that our experiences are not isolated events. Other people have gone through similar events as well. We are not alone!
Do your homework. Learn all you can about what you have gone through.
More importantly, let’s ask ourselves how we can come alongside others who have experienced a similar event.
4. Return to your normal routines.
Routines matter. As much as you are able, get back to the regular rhythms of your life. These patterns of predictability are a powerhouse of stability after a deeply un-stabilizing event.
5. Embrace your own pace.
We all move along the timeline of recovery at different paces. That is okay. Because it is okay to not be okay. It is okay to need more time. Take the time you need. And don’t let anyone pressure you to conform to their preferred timeline.
6. Enter into other people’s stories.
By its very nature, trauma tends to have a totalizing effect. It can quickly become all-consuming.
And while it’s important to name the pain and process the experience with others, it’s also important, over time, to de-center the trauma. We can do this by entering into other people’s stories.
Surround yourself with people. Listen to their stories. By hearing their stories, we come to understand that trauma is not singular to ourselves alone. Other people have been through stuff too, and they can help us as we journey toward wholeness, just as we might be able to help them.
7. Immerse yourself in the truth of God’s Word.
Especially after a traumatic event, our minds can easily slip into patterns with feedback loops that sometimes aren’t the healthiest. The best way to combat these unhelpful feedback loops is to transform our minds with the power of God’s Word (Romans 12:2).
Read it. Write it. Memorize it. Reread it. And pray it.
God’s Word is living and active (Hebrews 4:12), and it will never return void. It will always accomplish God’s purposes (Isaiah 55:11). The more we immerse ourselves in God’s truth, the more our hearts and minds and souls will be aligned with God’s purposes.
One of my favorite verses is Psalm 107:20 that says, “He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction.” God’s Word heals!
8. Let others help.
In the past, we have had friends from church bring us meals. And friends from afar have sent us gift cards for meals. One time a group of men from church came to our house, mowed our lawn, gathered the leaves, and hauled off a bunch of yard debris to the dump. This was such a huge blessing as it was one less thing for my husband to worry about.
It isn’t always easy to accept help. Sometimes it feels easier to close the curtains and crawl into defense mode. But as we let others help, we experience the power of community. And, honestly, it makes us more aware of the ways we can help others once we’re back to full strength.
9. Surround yourself with beauty and nature.
God has given us the wonder of his creation, which can lift our eyes from our immediate circumstances to the beauty all around us. (You’ll notice that most of the pictures I share here on Substack are of sunsets or nature.)
Sunrises. Sunsets. Golden leaves. Water in a stream.
Let the colors of the sky and trees and all manner of living things bless you and remind you of the Author of Life.
10. Practice healthy habits.
I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s all too easy to “reward” myself with comfort food after an extremely extenuating situation. But more than a temporary reward, I want to restore my body to health and strength.
This means eating well, drinking lots of water, sleeping with regularity, and moving our bodies. At first, this might look like baby steps. But over time, tiny steps lead to large leaps.
Okay, this list is by no means exhaustive. I’d love to hear from you. What are some ways you have experienced healing as you have moved through trauma toward recovery? Please share in the comments.
Shalom.
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Denise, this article is so wonderful. Clear language and to-the-point! The only thing I would add is the healing power of MUSIC in the process of restoration of physical and emotional health. One minor correction: Divorce is a MAJOR T Trauma--to all involved. It's comparable to a bomb exploding in your face in my honest opinion. Your family, your identity, your security, your basic needs are blown to smithereens. Especially in the church where you are ostracized and left bleeding to death in the aisle as others just look on and shake their heads. Thankfully, I had the support of two beautiful sisters and kept my eyes on Jesus. And thanks to authors like you who encouraged me in my healing process to WRITE THE WORD!
Oh, Denise. I am so very sorry to hear about you health scare. What a loving Father we serve who has brought you back home to your family. You have been such a blessing to me in the past and you reach so many with your gift of writing. I will be praying for you and do hope that you get stronger and stronger each day. Big hug friend.