You Are What You Read

What I've been up to lately, and what I've been reading...

I want to welcome the new subscribers here at The Quiet Contrarian. I’m glad you’re here. Normally, I post at least twice per month, but I’ve taken a brief pause these past few weeks because my college kids are home for the summer. I want to soak up as much time with them as possible before we head back into fall.

I hope you had a great Fourth of July!

I mentioned recently that we’ve had a hard time finding authentic Mexican food within a thousand-mile radius of our home here in the Carolinas. But one thing my Southern neighbors know how to do is light it up on Independence Day.

Most of the fireworks here are illegal in my home state of California (because millions of acres have been destroyed by wildfires there), but in North Carolina fireworks are a thing. Consequently, we no longer have to navigate a huge public crowd to watch an official presentation of fireworks. We just float in the pool in our own backyard and watch three different “shows” right here in our neighborhood. It’s pretty fun.

What I’ve Been Up To…

I’ve been doing a lot of walking and reading lately (but not at the same time).

In the month of June, I walked 100 miles. (I don’t count my steps, but I do track my miles.) When I walk, I never listen to audiobooks or podcasts. It’s my time to think, and I do a lot of prewriting in my head as I walk.

I’ve been reading a fair bit, too.

It’s commonly said that “you are what you eat.”

I think it’s also true that “you are what you read.”

I appreciate what Randy Alcorn said about this in his article called, “What You Read Builds Who You Are.” (Thanks, Ishah, for the recommendation!)

So, here is a list of books I’ve read recently.

What I’ve Been Reading…

In my effort to read the books I already own, instead of buying new books, most of the books I’m reading were published some time ago.

Book #1

A Sacred Sorrow: Reaching Out to God in the Lost Language of Lament by Michael Card (2005)

I will write more about this book soon, but for now let me just say: this is one of the best books I have ever read. And if you know me at all, you know I’m not one to gush.

How has this treasure been sitting on my shelf, untouched, for almost twenty years?

Oh, yeah, back in 2005 I had two babies seventeen months apart, plus an older kid I was chauffeuring everywhere (with those two babies in tow), and I was in graduate school, working on a Master’s degree. Any reading I got done was for a university assignment. So, to accomplish two things at once, I would rock my babies while reading aloud the philosophical treatises by Jacques Derrida and Michel Foucault. (If my kids seem different than the average Gen-Zer, now you know why.)

All of that to say, I was deep in the throes of diapers and Derrida back in the day, and I missed Michael Card’s most excellent book. But it’s a timeless work, which is the best kind; it’s one of those rare gems that is both elegantly written and theologically sound. Here is just one snippet:

Our failure to lament also cuts us off from each other. If you and I are to know one another in a deep way, we must not only share our hurts, anger, and disappointments with each other (which we often do), we must also lament them together before the God who hears and is moved by our tears. Only then does our sharing become truly redemptive in character. (Michael Card, 29)

We all need people like this in our lives — people who aren’t content with the easy-pat answers and the neat-and-tidy stories that make for happy church news. We need people who are willing to listen to the gut-level-honest truth of what is really happening.

We need people in our lives who aren’t afraid to sit with sorrow and invite God into the pain.

And this…

The degree to which I am willing to enter into the suffering of another person reveals the level of my commitment and love for them. If I am not interested in your hurts, I am not really interested in you. (Michael Card, 29)

I keep reading that last line, over and over, because it resonates deeply. If all someone wants to hear is the happy parts of life, then they’re really just a fair-weather friend. But we need friends who are willing to listen to the whole truth of reality. Both the good and the hard.

Book #2

The Deepest Place: Suffering and the Formation of Hope by Curt Thompson, MD (2023)

This wasn’t the easiest book to read, but it was well worth the investment of time. There’s a lot of self-help psychology out there (and most of it is meh), but Dr. Curt Thompson does a solid job of speaking to his profession of psychiatry while staying within the bounds of orthodox Christianity.

He builds a strong case for the necessity of genuine community. Yes, people will hurt you, even people in the church, but it will also be people who heal you.

I am not implying that some people are “healers.” What I mean is this: we experience healing in the context of real community. This is how God designed us, but healing cannot take place when people are not willing to hear the real truth of what is happening in your life.

Book #3

The Gift of Limitations: Finding Beauty in Your Boundaries by Sara Hagerty (2024)

This is the only new book on my list. I bought it because the title drew me.

The gift of limitations? Really? No one views limitations as a gift.

We balk and squawk whenever we bump up against limitations. We love everything super-sized. The more the better. But

Sara Hagerty

is one of the few current writers who doesn’t tread down the wide path of easy platitudes and base flattery in an attempt to woo her readers. She writes truth. And for that reason, I buy her books, even though I really am trying not to buy new books right now!

Book #4

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr (2014)

This is the only novel on my list. I read mostly nonfiction because I love to learn, but I am trying to add more fiction to my life. My husband, Jeff, read this last year and kept telling me that I needed to read it. He was right. I understand now why it won the Pulitzer Prize. I won’t tell you any more. But if you’re looking for fiction, this book is brilliant.

Book #5

The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, MD (1978)

The quiet contrarian in me is drawn to a title like The Road Less Traveled.

I picked up this book over two decades ago. At the time, however, I got halfway through it and never finished, so I picked it up again and started over. I’m glad I did because, as a psychiatrist, Dr. M. Scott Peck delivers some keen insights into relational dynamics. But towards the latter half of the book, he tries to lead a discussion on spiritual growth and it falls flat, which is probably why I never finished it all those years ago.

It is fascinating, though, to watch an obviously brilliant and highly educated person attempt to articulate the “concept” of grace when they are not actually a believer in Christ (at least not at the time of when he wrote this book). True grace is found only in the person of Jesus Christ, so it’s impossible to know the fullness of grace unless you know Christ.

Nevertheless, despite the book’s ultimate shortcomings, there are some solid kernels worth chewing on. For instance, his definition of mental health is still very apt for today. He says:

Mental health is an ongoing process of dedication to reality at all costs. (Peck, 50)

In other words, mental health is a commitment to truth and the acceptance of reality at all costs. I appreciate this definition because the unhealthiest people I know are those who hold tightly to certain perceptions that have little bearing on reality. And I get it. It costs us something to accept reality as it really is.

Books #6-17

Over the years, I’ve read a number of books on prayer, but lately I’ve begun another deep dive into the subject of biblical prayer. I understand, however, that it’s possible to approach this topic in such a cerebral way that it completely misses the point of prayer, which is to commune with the Living God.

Keeping this in mind, I’ve been reading some expository books lately on the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13), which is found in the Sermon on the Mount. I’ve also been studying the Psalms, which is both a prayer book and a hymnal. Here are the books I have enjoyed recently:

• With Christ in the School of Prayer by Andrew Murray

• The Beatitudes and the Lord’s Prayer by Arthur Pink

• Exalting Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount by Daniel L. Akin

• The Message of the Psalms by Walter Brueggemann

• Exalting Jesus in the Psalms (Volume One; Volume Two; Volume Three)

• Be Worshipful (Psalms 1-89) by Warren Wiersbe

• Be Exultant (Psalms 90-150) by Warren Wiersbe

• Prayer by Timothy Keller

• Answering God by Eugene Peterson

• The Book of Common Prayer

---

I am not a fast reader. In fact, I read quite slowly, but the upside to reading slowly is that I remember virtually everything I read.

So, I’ve been filling up on a lot of good books lately, and I’d love to hear from you.

What books have you been reading? What’s your favorite book on prayer? Share in the comments!

Shalom.

Denise