30 Comments

I love this so, so much! I left all social media behind 6 months ago. I do struggle a bit with missing out but I feel a sense of peace and freedom the majority of the time and I have zero plans to ever join the social media world again. My 18 year old daughter has also left social media recently and feels the freedom to just live her own life without posting it! I love that youโ€™re on Substack!! Iโ€™m looking forward to reading more of your beautiful words. ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–

Expand full comment

โ€œโ€ฆthe freedom to just live her own life without posting it.โ€

Thatโ€™s beautiful! A big shout out to your daughter for shaking off the shackles while sheโ€™s youngโค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅโค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅ

Expand full comment

That is a great line, isn't it! Good for her!

Expand full comment

I completely understand the reason for leaving social media. Frankly, it can be toxic. I have an Instagram account, but mostly to follow my daughterโ€™s art page. Otherwise it includes a lot of Charles Spurgeon quotes and similar biblical encouragement. :) My Facebook account is similar; I post rarely simply because I donโ€™t feel comfortable with posting just to show off. But I do still follow it, partly because my church family posts announcements there, partly because I follow a couple of local weather pages and devotionals, and partly because there are times my friends - who I know personally - share needs and concerns there that I wouldnโ€™t otherwise hear about. It becomes an extension of the community that already exists.

I know thatโ€™s not the norm, of course. Iโ€™ve seen the aspects of social media designed to inflame feelings of โ€œnot enoughโ€ or โ€œbetter than.โ€ Iโ€™ve seen (and removed) the posts encouraging hatred and distrust. But I always appreciate those subverting the status quo by injecting a little reality into the situation. It can strengthen me as I try to live out my walk with God in integrity. To me, thatโ€™s a countercultural social media.

Not that everyone has either to do either one, ditch or transform. I figure we follow the Spiritโ€™s lead on what is best in these situations, so itโ€™s not up to me to try to be prescriptive. Itโ€™s just something I continue to mull over. I am glad, however, I stumbled across your work (through reading P31 online) and found a sister who seems to be of like mind. Thank you for sharing your heart.

Expand full comment

Adrienne, I love that. Thanks for sharing.

Expand full comment

I so resonate with your story, very similar. So thankful for the hope of Jesus. I totally understand the whole social media reason, I go back and forth myself on it. Maybe I will get there and delete like you. Thanks for sharing your story!

Expand full comment

Thank you, Jenn.

Expand full comment

Thank you for sharing. Your honest stories are encouraging.

Expand full comment

Thank you, Deb.

Expand full comment

High fives to you, Denise!

And Iโ€™m looking forward to reading your long form writingโ€ฆ thatโ€™s soul nourishing! Thank you โ™ฅ๏ธ

Expand full comment

Thanks, Deb!

Expand full comment

I totally agree about social media, is a fake image of what really is happening behind those beautiful pictures. Your story made me think about mine, I grew up in a good family, my parents were very good parents my extended family also is a good family we are all very close and we love to hang out together, and then I married to a person that has a very broken family, with all kinds of disfunctional that I could even imagine existed in life and the worst is that I left my family of origin and my country to come to this, but as always and I learned this through all my years in building a relationship with God that his plan was for me to be here, to learn and build what I couldnโ€™t have done it in my country, and to show this man that he can be related to a big family and be loved

Expand full comment

Wow, thank you for sharing. What is your home country?

Expand full comment

Mexico ๐Ÿ˜Š

Expand full comment

I can relate to much of what you descibe of your and your husband's childhoods, and I admire you all the more! Thank you for your vulnerability!

Expand full comment

Thank you, Bobbie.

Expand full comment

looking for resources as to learn the craft of writing for publishing, do you have any recommendations on how to start telling stories that donโ€™t fit the social media promotion culture, I met you while at Grace Church of Glendora, thanks!

Expand full comment

Hello! I have compiled a list of resources for writers here: https://denisejhughes.com/resources/

Expand full comment

Denise, thank you so much; Iโ€™ll start with Andrew LePeauโ€™s book. I wanted to also read your ebook โ€œOn Becoming a Writerโ€ but the Amazon link is no longer valid and I canโ€™t find it on Amazon.

Expand full comment

Ah, yes, I have removed that from Amazon so I can update it. I'll keep you posted. :-) Andrew LePeau's books is a great place to start!

Expand full comment

I related to so much of this article deeply. It was strangely comforting to read someone else's experiences of familial and relational isolation, especially in the context of raising a family and sustaining a marriage. Community is not just a buzzword, its vital to our individual and family health and well-being. Navigating the 'middle classes' as you say is interesting. I am technically kind of middle class now (education, work experience, where I live etc) but for so many reasons do not identify with the term or social status- not to mention my family background and upbringing being vastly different to many in that bracket.

Expand full comment

Thank you, Ishah. I'd love to hear more of your story.

Expand full comment

Terrific piece.

Expand full comment

Thank you, Jillian!

Expand full comment

Thank you for sharing the stories behind the pictures!

Expand full comment

Thanks, Jen!

Expand full comment

Hello Denise,

I can relate to your words whole heartedly.

For the past few years, I would take a social media fast during Lent.

This past Lent, The Lord revealed to me that social media was an idol in my life.

I deleted my FB account(thatโ€™s all I have) and I felt so FREE.

There are times I miss certain things, and there are treasured pictures I let go of when I deleted it, but God is worth all of that! There is nothing more important to me than Him.โœ๏ธ

God bless you sister!โค๏ธ๐Ÿ™

Expand full comment

That's amazing. Good for you!

Expand full comment

Denise, Thank you for putting words to my thoughts. As a newly published author, I am tired of trying to promote and build a platform that doesn't feel like me. I enjoy time to invest in my grown children and my grandchildren, to study and write, to have time to sit on the porch with my husband and chat. I don't want to be on social media day and night promoting my book (which I know the Lord called me to write). The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places and I am thankful, (Psalm 16:6)

Expand full comment

I'm so glad, Sandra!

Expand full comment